First let’s start here, I am over 200 pounds, no qualifiers, in fact, I am not even super close to 200.
This is the part where I am supposed to tell you that I am still a badass and a mom and all the stuff that people that look like me need to say to justify who we are.
It would be very easy for me to say that I have ZERO f***’s to give about all of that and a bunch of nonsense that isn’t true.
It does matter to me mostly because it’s hard to be a woman over 200 pounds and not feel like you are being judged.
The fact that I am strong as hell probably doesn’t matter to most people that see me at my daughter’s school or at the grocery store.
But it’s part of who I am and if you want to know the truth, much of my self esteem is derived from being able to pick up 300 pounds off of the ground. Along with all of the other stuff I do that makes me who I am.
I am also a coach at Eat To Perform. This story happened about a year ago but I am one of the lead coaches at Eat To Perform, I have been here for some time and I am also on the intake team.
One morning I was featured on the Eat To Perform page. It’s interesting because a lot of people SAY they want to see more diverse bodies represented on our page but in reality the diverse bodies we post don’t get the same likes and follows that the slimmer ladies and guys do.
I get that but after the post a lady came into messenger, she was about to sign up for the program. I don’t think she made the connection that it was me in the picture. I will paraphrase what she said and clean it up a bit “no thank you, I was going to sign up but I don’t want to look strong like that”.
There were a few people on the team ready to get fired to let this woman know that she couldn’t talk to me like that.
But I was good. I know who I am and like anyone I have moments where I doubt myself and I can wallow in that for a few minutes some time.
I have two strong daughters THAT DO want to look like me, that DO want to be strong.
You don’t get strong by accident.
I don’t know what it’s like to have six pack abs. I have to think it would be quite motivating to wake up ripped each day. We all have different motivations to be who we are.
But I am going to say this for myself and all the other 200+ ladies out there putting in work to live a healthy life.
Don’t worry lady, you will never be as strong as me and I am not just talking about weights. People like me have felt that judgment our whole lives, you just said it to someone that you didn’t know was the EXACT person you were dismissing like I wasn’t a person with feelings.
So today when I am crushing some absurd weight and I am uncertain if all of this is worth it I will think of you and pick it up and put it back down and smile.
I do this for me and my two girls that want to be me.
The number that defines me is the weight on the bar.
Even the programs that reverse don’t do a good job because they cave to the fear of their clients or they let AI (artificial intelligence) do the work.